RELATIONSHIP, THE COMPLEX WORD

"HOW TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?"
"HOW TO MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP?"

This are the questions which are being asked and run into every person's mind. But this questions can never be answered, but to be felt and expreinced. One need to understand the other person well and then need to behave in that way. The relationship is not only between Husband-Wife, its between daughter-mother, mother-son, father-son, father-daughter, between friends, between boss and his employee and every person who are related to each other. But why it happen's that we sometimes missunderstood people? Why we don't understand the other person? Why we fail to hear the unspoken words by the other family members? Why we see the disputes in the family inspite being a FAMILY? Are we lacking somehwhere? Are we getting selfish that only our words to heard or given importance? Why we fails to understand the other perosn? WHY?

I sometimes wonder, in older days, when there were joint-family, there were less disputes and they all used to stay together, happiliy. But now, in the necular-family, where there are only parents and their childrens, why do they fail to be happy? Why does a mother father fails to understand what his son wants from him? Why a mother get involves in a younger child so much that she forgets the other? Why do they miss-interpreat the meaning of their child sharing his view as he's being questioning their up-bringing?

Its been said that, the child's mind is like a plain paper. Whatever you write in it in his early childhood days, gets imprinted for the whole life. That's the reason, in old days, the family elderly person used to take utmost care that the young ones of the family are been giving proper training till they grew up and sees the world from their own. They were kept away from all the disputes, tension, fights, and other such negative things going on in a family, so that they should not get imprinted in family. They used to spent time with the eldely person, whos disission was listened, and who used to be the friend of the young ones. The young ones made their gandparents as friends and shared all thier thoughts which then mixed with the expreince of theirs and then given the comment or solutions to problems. This not only made young felt good as they were having a good friend to solve out their problem but also someone from the family who is their friend. Having a family as a friend, a good friend, helpled them a lot. They not only learnt how to tackel the problems but also shared thier feeling and got emotional support, which is the important part of the upbringing. HAVING A GOOD EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. A young child needs someone with whom he can share all his thought. In joint-family, he has grandparents. But in necular-family, he's left alone. He fears to share his thought with parents, as they are parents. Parents become ther good parents, but fails to become the good friend when they need to be. This somehow affects the child, mentally. He sees them as a parents not friends, and then he starts hidding things. He start telling lie. At this point, the friends,the school friends, plays the role. He mixes with them. Due to the improper knowledge given to him in the beinging by his PARENTS, he start thinking that anyone who understand him, with whom he is enjoying is his friend. But when parents intervent by saying that you this friend isn't good, stay away from him, or your friends background, parents are not good, stay away from him, makes the child angry and then he become stubborn and start arguing with his parents. But here they wuite him by slapping at that point and putting him into rules and regulations which imprint in his mind as his parents are not good and don't understand him. When the child moves to college, he by that time has been imprinted with all such incidents which result in that the parents are parents, we need to hide our things from him. But how much a person's mind and heart can hide. Now he looks for someone with whom he can share his secrets and start searching for a lover. As he has seen, that the lover should be good looking and beautifil, he looks for the same, but forgets that the important thing is how much the person understands you. This gives rise to instant break-ups and link-ups. And the physical attractions and need plays the important role in it. He can't share his physical changes and problems with his parents, as he don't find it good to share because of our conservativeness and the parents don't take the initiative as they are parents and not friends. They don't open to their children and so the children's. This start making the distance between them and constant clash of ideas and thinking giving in rise to the tension between childrens and parents. Here the parents fails to understand the actual reason and make the wrong conclusion that thier child don't treat them well and is runing out of thier hands or has already did. This thinking plays another important role and control the parents actions which then has the equal reactions. The same thing happens with the child who thinks the same thing and give rise to his actions. The child finally after so much link-ups get the final partner and decide to spent the whole life with her. The parents have no choice to agree as ultimately they are parents. All their blackmailing or outbrust of emotions of not following thier words and lisenting to them have no impact on child. They marry and the parents have two options left. Either they have to leave the home and live somewhere else, or they have to live with them quietly at the one corner of the home. The parents can never take that their child will treat them so badly, so they move to some other place.

This is the scene which are seen today. The story and the action-reactions might not be the same but this is what happen. Not in one relationship but in every relationship. The main reason is that, we see the things from our side. We never see the things from other side. We always have a feeling that the superior never bend his head. We don't think that if the king has to rule, he has to listen and has to care the emotions, feelings of the crowd, of the countrymen. Then only he's the TRUE KING. Why we fails to understand the small thing? Why we overlook one thing which make us HUMAN? That thing is EMOTIONS,FEELINGS. One care, and the problem is solved.